


391. after midnight

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [196]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9296066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: “Mm,” Helena says, and shuffles back under the covers. “Bad dreams.” She says it like it should be a question, but they both know it isn’t a question.“Yeah,” Sarah says, voice quiet from the doorway.





	

Sarah wakes up shaking, as usual. These days she always wakes up shaking; she doesn’t tell anyone about it, because she’s supposed to be _Sarah Manning_ and Sarah Manning doesn’t start crying in the middle of the night from her nightmares. But here she is: sometime in the early early hours of the morning, trying as hard as she can to forget what she was dreaming about.

It’s no use. Her brain is a tangle of scars and barbed wire, spitting out old memories – and only the painful ones, too. She stands. Her spine cracks, viciously, and she pads out the door.

It’s only when Sarah gets out into the hallway that she remembers: Helena’s in the room next door. Guest room, supposedly, not that they ever get guests. Right now it’s just Helena – unless she’s not there. Unless she gets nightmares too. There’s a comfort in it: the idea of Helena in the other room, sitting on the couch and shaking and waiting for dawn. It’s a terrible, shitty comfort, but. It’s a comfort.

Sarah nudges the door open a little bit, and – no. No, Helena’s in there. Her breathing is deep and even, and it takes a few seconds for Sarah to realize that her own breathing is the exact same rhythm. She didn’t even mean to do it – it just happened like that. They used to share a heartbeat. Here Sarah is, sometime past midnight, standing in her sister’s doorway and just _remembering_ that. Their hearts used to be the exact same heart.

As soon as Sarah thinks that – she knows it, it’s that exact second – Helena stirs in the bed. Sarah can’t see her in the dark, but she can tell Helena is looking at her.

“Sarah?” Helena says groggily.

“Hey,” Sarah says in an overloud whisper. “Sorry. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Mm,” Helena says, and shuffles back under the covers. “Bad dreams.” She says it like it should be a question, but they both know it isn’t a question.

“Yeah,” Sarah says, voice quiet from the doorway. “I – yeah.”

“I get them also,” Helena says drowsily.

Sarah lets go of the doorframe, walks over – slowly, in a way that feels like a dream – and sits down on the edge of the bed. “How do they stop,” she says. “How do I – how do I make ‘em stop, I – I just _can’t_ , Helena.”

Helena is silent for a second, and Sarah realizes she’s probably fallen asleep. But then Helena’s creaking voice says: “It helps when you pretend to yourself that you are not alone. Like someone is there. Sometimes the bad dreams get scared and leave, if they think someone else is in the room with you.”

“Oh,” Sarah says. “What if – what if there’s just another person there.”

Another beat of silence. “I don’t know.”

It’s the saddest thing Sarah has ever heard, and she makes a decision immediately; she lifts up the covers, and crawls into the bed. It’s big enough for both of them – or it is if Sarah shrinks herself a little bit. Helena shuffles a bit more in the blankets and then Sarah can see her, Helena’s eyes staring solemn at her in the dark.

“Hello,” she says.

“Hi,” Sarah says. “This alright?”

“Yes,” Helena says. Her eyelids droop, and then – with effort – raise back up. “I hope it helps.”

“D’you ever think,” Sarah says, voice beginning to slur with exhausion, “’bout the fact that we were in the womb? You and me?”

“All the time,” Helena says. “Always.”

“Me too,” Sarah says, and her eyes close. She’s breathing the same breaths as Helena, in and out and in.

“Good night, _sestra_ ,” Helena says softly. “Good dreams.”

“Good dreams,” Sarah says. She hopes it’s true.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


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